


Stiles and Derek aren't Friends

by Juliet_Capri



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Crushes, M/M, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juliet_Capri/pseuds/Juliet_Capri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why would you buy that now?” Derek asked. His voice got a little tight, but in that moment he didn't care; he was done with Malia's – see his family’s – shit.</p>
<p>“What, I need new period underwear so I got new period underwear.”</p>
<p>“Period underwear…” Derek twitched and he moved over to face the cashier. He moved his eyes from the wrinkled khaki pants, through the faded red polo to the smooth perfect face of Stiles Stilinski. Derek’s life sucked</p>
<p>or Where Derek's life sucks, Stiles is oblivious and Scott is not Monica.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the One at Target

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any mistakes; please don't hesitate to tell me about them (as well as leave your more general comments, questions, concerns and inquiries) in the comment section.

The package landed with a thump on to the belt. Derek stared at it in horror; the label read “Hanes Perfect Fit Cotton Undies.” A bright red icon in the coroner proclaimed their value obnoxiously. He turned his head to the side and stared at his cousin, Malia. She stuffed another Cheeto in her mouth and said “What?”

“Why would you buy that now?” Derek asked. His voice got a little tight, but in that moment he didn't care; he was done with Malia's – see his family’s – shit. Malia was weird; at six she eat a live fish, at ten she put the dog in a tutu and sent him to her “friend’s” birthday, and at eighteen she was buying the ugliest pack of under where ever with her male cousin. 

“What, I need new period underwear so I got new period underwear.”

“Period underwear…” Derek twitched and he moved over to face the cashier. He moved his eyes from the wrinkled khaki pants, through the faded red polo to the smooth perfect face of Stiles Stilinski. Derek’s life sucked

Stiles looked bored, eyes slowly moving up to look at Derek. The scene was nothing like his normal energetic demeanor. Stiles was the head of the debate team, co-captain of the Mathletes with Lydia Martin, and vice president of the honor society at Beacon Hills High. Stiles was practically the mascot for the school. He was literally the mascot when Greenburg, the man behind the badger costume was sick and couldn’t go to games. He’s high energy and proud to be a badger.

Derek was not in any way like Stiles. Where Stiles loved academia and thrived off of his success as a student, Derek was a jock at heart. He played football, rugby, baseball and basketball for the BHH Badgers. Most of his classes revolved around what would allow him the most time to practice. On the other hand, Stiles took every advance placement class offered and was rumored to be taking online college courses. Derek highly doubted that he had time to do that, but it still spoke to the guy’s commitment to academics. Stiles and Derek couldn’t be more opposite personalities if they had tried.

The only common factor between them was honor society. Derek became a member because of the GPA requirement the athletic department enforced; most athletes become eligible to become member as the only initial requirement is to have a 3.0 GPA. Most don’t join as many of the meetings are during practices and all members of the honor society are required to do volunteer work that tended to concede with games and other team events. During Derek and Stiles’ senior year, Derek was the only athlete in honor society. 

Derek originally joined to please his mom. Sports were his dad’s thing and his mom never got it. When he told her about receiving the invitation to join honor society, Derek’s mom started to glow with pride, she’d been the valedictorian of her class. The missed practices and long days of games and volunteering were worth it when he say his mom practically vibrating while ironing the honor society letter to his letterman jacket. 

He remained the most active member outside of leadership once he realized that going to meetings and events meant spending more time with Stiles. Stiles had always been hot. Derek had been half in love with the guy since middle school. He was only slight embarrassed to admitted his personal spank bank had benefited from seeing Stiles sweating from moving hay bales at the annual harvest festival during junior year. 

He wished he hadn’t had been so active while standing in front of Stiles with a pack of Malia’s period underwear, canola oil for his mother, and a box of condoms for Cora’s “science experiment,” see date with the new boyfriend, Chad – what the fuck. He hated his sister, Chad, and his life. Now, because Cora and Chad were doing it like rabbits and Malia can’t figure out how panty liners work, Derek must face Stiles, gorgeous Stiles looking like he’s about to have lots of sex with his cousin while she wears what are the most offensive pieces of fabric ever. Derek can’t even imagine what the oil is telling Stiles. 

Stiles initially didn’t react to the items, but as he scanned each one his brow creased tellingly. There wasn’t a sound as he scanned the condoms; Stiles let a little laugh escape when he got to the panties. He looked up once he picked up the oil and said very seriously “You know we have personal lubricant by the pharmacy, right?”

Malia looked at him with one of her eyebrows raised, “How the fuck would we fry potatoes with lube?”

Stiles turned to Derek and said, “So, that’s what you’re into. Potatoes.”

Derek stared. He was doubting the existence of god at this point, “I – ah – What?”

“I never would have guessed. You’re a strange one, Mr. Hale. I hope you and your girlfriend have a fun night tonight.”

Malia smiled and said “The condoms are for his sister. She’s dating Chad.”

“Chad?”

Derek growled unintentionally and Malia said, with an unnerving amount of glee, “He’s gonna kill Chad.”

“So the condoms are to trap the guy?” 

Malia shrugged, “Is it a trap if the mouse asked for it?” Stiles snickered, smirked and looked proud at Derek. Derek scowled. 

He paid for their items and tried to not look petulant as he and Malia left the store. It’s all Chad’s fault; without that fucker Derek would have had a perfectly normal afternoon. The polo wearing douche is the reason his life sucks; he’s probably the reason Stiles works at the closest store to Derek’s house. Derek wasn’t sure he could make it through dinner with him tonight let alone listening to the fuck boy violate his baby sister. He hopped Chad chopped his dick off while manscaping, sister molesting fucker.


	2. The One Near the Milk Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own and as I have no bete, there will be quite a few. I will happily accept your comments, questions, thought, concerns and inquiries in the comment section below! Please enjoy!

“But Stiles,” Scott said between bites of macaroni, “how would potatoes even be evolved with a sex act? Wouldn’t they hurt going in?”

Swallowing his bite of peanut butter sandwich, Stiles tried to reason with Scott, “Dude, its beside the point, but obviously they would go on top of the body, not in it. That would cause a yeast infection or something. The important part was who was buying the erotic paraphernalia, not what they were used for.”

“I don’t think cooking oil counts and ‘erotic paraphernalia,’ Stiles. Plus, Derek has a lot of family members right? He was probably just buy the family shopping list. The girl said the condoms were for his sister, right?”

“Yes, but what about the girl!”

“She was probably one of his sisters or cousins.”

“But I’ve never seen her! Why would one of the Hales not come to Beacon Hills High like the rest of them? Everyone knows they all live out in the preserve, so they have to all be in the same district.”

“Stiles, you are the one who has been mooning over him since sophomore year. Why am I convincing you he is still available? Shouldn’t you be plaining your spring wedding or something?”

“Spring wedding! I am a Chandler, my good sir. I bond with my friends over the great things of life like football and video games, not frill things like weddings!”

“You already planned you wedding didn’t you?”

“You support me because you my Joey, Scott!” Stiles cried, “We are the unlikely friendship! With your athletic ability and my status as the school’s most likely person to die of AP induced stress, we are a classic trope, my friend. You save the best place in my heart for my Monica and I try to make your life interesting before you get your spinoff.”

“Ok, but I thought I was Monica. Since when are me and Allison not Chandler and Monica?”

“Scott, you and Allison don’t even count as a Ross and Rachel.”

“You suck, Stiles. Seriously.”

“You still love me.”

Scott huffed but didn’t dispute Stiles, so Stiles counts the argument as a win. While he is basking in his success, Allison and Kira sit next to the boys with their own lunches. “Hello, handsome.” Alisson greeted Scott. She leaned over and kissed Scott, who whole heartedly reciprocated. Stiles gaged.

“Sup, Stiles.” Kira greeted him to which Stiles immediately responded with “Please don’t kiss me.”

She raised her eyebrow, “I would never kiss you, Stiles. I wasn’t even tempted last Halloween when you watched those makeup tutorials and came to Lydia’s as the hot drag queen from drag race.”

“I knew you got that reference!” 

Ignoring Stiles and Kira, Allison asked the table, “So, what have my two favorite men been talking about?”

“Work and my favorite subject, Fr –”

“Derek Hale’s ass?” Kira interrupted; she smirked, obviously proud of her dig.

“At least my infatuation is on a real person. You just talk about your invisible girlfriend; Melanie.”

“It’s Malia, you ass, and of course she’s visible she just doesn’t go here! Other schools exist, Stiles.”

“Fine, whatever,” Stiles stood with his tray, “Scott, I am going to though this and get another milk. Catch the ladies up.”

Scott nodded and dove right into the tale of woe that was Stiles’ Sunday night. Stiles dumped his tray walk up to the milk stand. He picked up a chocolate milk and was examining the expiration date when the one and only Derek Hale walked up with a fresh tray clutched in his hands. His eyes bugged out from his head a little and he spluttered before asking “Can I please have a chocolate milk?”

Stiles smiled and handed him the one that he had just pickup, “I hope it is to your satisfaction.”

Derek stared at the milk and said, “I – I – Never mind.” 

The star athlete and overall hottie then turned around and walked away. Stiles studied Derek’s ass as he walked, and was even ashamed about it. He always wore tight black jeans that hugged the masterpiece that hung between his hip bones, so in a way he asked to get stared at; Stiles was just doing his part to make Derek’s wishes come true.

With a happy sigh, Stiles turned back toward his table. No matter how much he wished it, Stiles knew he would never get any closer to Derek Hale’s rear masterpiece then those tight black jeans. So, made due with what he had and he was happy with the way things were. He lusted after Derek and Derek has remained consistently oblivious to his pants’ effect on the student body. Overall, it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. 

Scott’s neighborhood was dramatically less beautiful as he was in between two fighting women. Scott’s face was flushed and his lips tight as Allison leaned over the table to argue with an obviously irritated Kira.

“But that doesn’t explain the oil! Why would his mother approve of her daughter having sex?!” Allison was saying.

“I don’t know, Alli” Kira said, knowing full well how much the other woman hated that nick name, “Maybe Talia Hale is a progressive mother.”

“Ladies,” Scott broke in, “Maybe-”

“You’re insane if you think the woman who prosecutes sex offenders would approve of statutory rape.”

“They’re both under eighteen!”

“How do you know – Stiles! What did Ms. Derek Hale say the boyfriend’s name was?”

Stiles sat down and said, “She didn’t.”

Alison through up her hands in apparent satisfaction, “See, if Stiles doesn’t know, how do you know this guy is?”

“Malia is a Hale. I’ve been over to their house.”

“You never told us that.” Scott said, ignoring the fact that the girls were seemingly ignoring him a minute ago. 

“I didn’t?”

“No, right Stiles?” Stiles thought about it; no, Kira had never mentioned that she was dating a Hale. He shook his head, but then paused as he realized the important implications of the mystery girlfriend being part of sex god’s Hale’s family

“You had access to that ass this whole time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone else a huge RuPaul's Drag Race fan? If so, who would you pick for Stiles to dress up as?
> 
> If you have anything else you would like to tell me, please do in the comments below! Have a wonderful day

**Author's Note:**

> This was my personal challenge to limit my writing and (hopefully) create a more streamlined piece. If you enjoyed it, please let me know!


End file.
